Manic Pan[dem]ic

Hello FOMO-teers. It’s been forever, hasn’t it?

The short of it for me: I’ve been busy doing the usual Monday through Friday 9 to 5 (or 6, as it were in some cases) routine of the soul-crushing office variety.

Have I been creating?  I’ve been trying.  I am still, years later, in the exploration phase of my creativity.  I know that I love finding different ways to express myself.  My partner and I started (and never continued but hope springs eternal that we’ll pick it up again) a foodie vlog (which you can view here if you are interested in a blast from the past);

We also started a podcast where we get high and tell spooky, creepy stories (which you can listen to here).

There, shameless self-promotion on projects that may or may not go anywhere because I’m still working on not letting my childhood bestie, Anxiety, take full control of my life: check.

But I’m hopeful. Right now, there doesn’t seem to be a lot to be hopeful about, you know? Wherever you are reading this, I’m writing from California in the U.S. And if you’ve been following the news lately, you will know that the world is in a pandemic and the U.S. isn’t doing too well with it. Like, we are really bad at this, guys. Like, “I need an adult” bad at this. And of the state that is doing the very best at being the actual worst is California.

I had a lot of hopes and fantasies going into this pandemic. I thought California was going to be the state where we pulled together and wore our masks, washed our hands, and physically distanced—after all, we’re a hip, sexy state that uses technology like Whoa. We record ourselves and send it to people instead of having conversations in real-time. I thought we were going to nail this isolation thing and beat this virus.

But alas. We are really bad. We’re so bad at this. That thermometer hits the 70s and we’re all, “I wanna go to the BEACH!”

That and rampant, end-stage capitalism is forcing our most vulnerable populations to work and be exposed while all us privileged assholes working from home (or not working at all– I don’t know, I don’t know the life of the latest viral sensation) go into stores and scream at minimum-wage employees about how our rights are being curtailed because we need to breathe the fresh recycled air of our favorite Target store, goddammit.

I love the smell of hair dye and trimmed ends in the morning, y’all.

Okay, enough of me being on my high horse. For now. If you come to this blog for escapism, I am not sure if I can give it to you at this time. It’s hard to escape when you’re in a one-bedroom apartment. If you come here for hope, I think I can manage a little hope for you all but I will admit, it’s not the way it used to be. I am hopeful things will eventually get better but I don’t have any idea when it will or what that will look like. But I’m hopeful if only because of the simple fact that time moves forward. This virus will not last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just as much in the dark as you.

I know, right, comforting.

Anyway, if you’re curious about what I’ve been up to painting-wise, it’s this:


A while back, my partner and I got a new t.v.  Best decision ever because we’ve been watching all the streaming services we got free trials for and forgot to unsubscribe from. Anyway, there was a large slab of cardboard that was used to pad the side of the t.v. so that it wouldn’t scratch or otherwise get injured from its trip from the store to our place. And wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have the heart to just throw it away.  So I used it as a canvas.

The backside is still pretty blank but the side pictured here is an exercise in documenting inspiration incrementally.  I don’t really have any idea or plans for this piece.  I keep it leaning against the wall until inspiration hits and I’ll add a few dabs of paint here and there.  Overall, I’m okay with the creepy vibe created.  The only things that clearly resonate with me are the two figures floating about in a sea of weird colors and the dark figure on the side overlooking them.

I’d like to tell you that’s my depiction of COVID-19 overlooking the fragile, ethereal creatures prancing about in seafoam.  But in all honesty, that addition probably came about because I was remembering the first time I watched Spirited Away and saw No-Face for the first time.

That’s really all I got for you today, friends.  I hope you are well and doing what you need to take care of yourselves.  These are not normal times and our usual coping mechanisms may not be as effective as they were in a non-pandemic world.  Be gentle with yourselves and be well.


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